Ayer - Enrique Iglesias

at the end of the day, not to say anything. but i love my independence. and im not giving it up just yet, even if you do come back.

你不知道的事

Do you remember how I always manja if you walked in front and you didn't hold my hand and walk together?

I will always stay behind with a cheeky smile and hands outstretched as I wait for you to come back and hold my hand and walk together and there is always that smile on your face that says its okay. I'm not going anywhere without you or you would say 'aiyo. must wait for me to come back and hold hand only can walk is it?

I would always grin and happily hold your hand as you turn around and hold my hand so I would walk together. Childish? Yes. Manja? Definitely.

So when you left, I always see myself at that same place (Medan) and I was left behind and I'm waiting for you to turn around and hold my hand so I can walk together with you, but you never did.

unrelated memory;

we had lunch at Medan and my friends went to the CC and you said you'll drive me there although it was a few seconds walk. I walked with you to the car and you drove me there. Aww <3

You waited for me in Medan to finish my class. You were at the CC and I told you no, no continue playing your game first come down later to pick me up. Actually, I was already there the whole time and I wanted just to make your money worth that's why I said I haven't finish class yet. I had prawn mee <3

Taylors event 08.

You were at the CC and I chose a table on the stage just to have a peek at you. I knew you were looking, bu I was too shy to look up. <3

You drove me home that night cause you were afraid that I thought you didn't love me enough. You were tired. And thanks <3 Those extra moments in the car made it all worthwhile.

the memories end here cause I can't think of anymore (actually I can, I just need to sleep)

where we belong - thriving ivory.

It sucks when you miss that person so much that you look through old photos, old text messages, even old statuses. And it brings a smile to your face, but then the hurt comes back and you know you shouldn't be looking back, but you can't help it because they really meant something to you and you thought it would have lasted.

I miss all the morning texts i would wake up to, i miss texting you till i sleep, i miss going to bed with a smile on my face, i miss being excited for the next day, because it was when i got to see you. But most of all, i miss being happy. And i’m probably never going to feel that kind of happiness again.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all that defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you. That one stupid person, no different from any other stupid persons, wanders into your life. You give them a piece of you even when they didn't ask for it, they did something so simple for you one day, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. It hurts not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. But in the soul, a pain that gets inside you and rips you apart. I hate love.

When we were kids, we pretend to cry when sleepy to
attract mom's attention. Now, we pretend to
be sleeping when crying quietly to avoid questions.

Don't assume too much that he likes you when he texts you, sometimes, he's just looking for someone to talk with because the one he really likes is busy, or can't talk to him at the moment. -cuteqts.xanga.com

People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

It's those times at night when you want to sleep because you want to forget everything. Then when you close your eyes, all you can see are the memories, the things you've always been expecting to happen, and just everything you've been trying to forget. -cuteqts.xanga.com

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let them go.

The person who truly loves you is the one who wouldn't
let you slip away no matter how big the situation is.

It's easy to find someone to sleep with - but harder to find
someone who wants to be there and hold your hand after 50 years.

Sometimes I say, "I just want you happy."
But deep in my heart I still want to be your happiness.

Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You can always tell she's
really hurt when she starts ignoring you.

You come to the point of giving up when
the hopes that used to keep you going
becomes the reason for you to stop believing.

They say that the more you try to tell your feelings,
the more that person is gonna take you for granted.
But actually, which hurts more? That, or getting hurt for
keeping words unspoken? -cuteqts.xanga.com

Sometimes you have to realize that not everything
he does to you... has a meaning. -cuteqts.xanga.com

It's funny how after a day of trying to be strong and
occupied, at the end of the day, you find that silent
moment and just cry.

There's always those times when you wake up, you check your phone and find no messages from him, so you go back to sleep, and when you wake up again, you still see nothing. But you just get up, with the heavy pain in the chest, accepting the fact that everything's changed. And he won't text you anymore, just like how he used to. -cuteqts.xanga.com

The longest distance on Earth: is not from
North to South; it's when I stand in front of you
and yet, you still ignore me.

all taken from cuteqts.xanga.com

we're gonna start a fire!

So many things has happened since I last wrote in this blog, so many dramas has unfolded, feelings let out, screams, cries, the sound of joy and so forth.

I really enjoyed my life so far, and yes there might be times I think that life itself is unfair but when I count my blessings I'm glad to have people that really loves me. My maternal grandmother, my parents, my brother, my best friends, the boyfriend and everybody else that have came into my life and left a footprint in me.

As of this month, I've made a road trip down to Kampar, Perak. Had the championship at bff's place and failed to clinch the title. Had a mid semester break. Had a mid term test. Forgiven someone for the past mistakes. Appreciate family more.

I feel that I've grown more this coming months and I thank everybody who taught me lessons that were worth teaching, loved me just the way I am. I love you all.

words that are true.

are you looking for happiness?

are you looking for something better?

do you ever feel emptiness?

are you scared that its gonna last forever?

don't give it away.

i don't want your happiness,

i don't need your happiness,

so never show me happiness,

i don't want your happiness.

everybody needs sanctuary

everybody needs hope and freedom

but not everybody needs a preacher

so don't tell me what you wanna hear

& don't give it away.

we don't need your cheap salvation

we don't want sympathy

over and over again

The ship of fools is sailing away

Just got back from this awesome concert by Hurts at Mist, Bangsar and everything was good. The dramatic gestures, lighting and all. Was just simply perfect for the gig. And it was a hundred and nineteen dollars well spent.

A friend asked today, why are we so emo?
I don't know, people are emotional for different reasons, often which are unexplainable by words and usually expressed out through tears.

On a completely different topic though, I want somebody to look into my eyes, tells me I'm beautiful and mean every word of it. Somebody to share my pain, my excitement, my happiness and everything. I have a boyfriend, don't get me wrong but sometimes I just wished he'll appreciates me a little more. I know its probably asking for too much, but is wanting to be appreciated a lot? No right? Come on. People dress up everyday just to be appreciated by people they know or don't know. So yes, I just want to be appreciated a little bit, him to tell me I look gorgeous, you know. Simple things like that. That really makes a girl go aww.

I don't know where I'm getting with this, like it's gonna be any help.

Goodnight blogsphere.

For as long as you are here on this earth, I feel alive.

I don't know if its just me, but usually after a crazy night of painting the town red I am extremely afraid to open my camera and see what kind of pictures are there inside, no kidding. Especially if you're drunk, the pictures comes out mostly .. not what you want to see sometimes especially if friends are taking them too.

Anyhoo, I had fun yesterday night for Leit's twenty first and it's been awhileee. Since I last club, don't really miss it yet but we'll see how in a few weeks time eh.? (:

But if you're happy I'd get through somehow

More often than not, songs that often gets stuck in your head are songs that you can closely relate to.

Alright. When was the last time I blogged? Probably a few months back, was super busy! Final year is now and been busy studying, staying sober and losing weight so its a VERY difficult task. Jeez. Just thinking about it is making me all stressed up already.

I'm scheduled to go out later around noon and hope that I've got a good lunch and nobody messes up my food again yo, cause for the last consecutive days restaurants has been messing up my orders, garhh.!

Done ranting, time to do some housework and pray that the logistics company does not make my parcel go missing!

Matthew West - Reason for the World.

Hi I'm in the middle of an assignment but I love this song so I'd thought I'll share it out.

Maybe the reason for the pain, is so that we would pray for strength

Maybe the reason for the strength, so that we would not lose hope
And maybe the reason for our hope so that we could face the world
And the reason for the world, is to make us long for hope.

Assignment outline is done, done done.
Presentation outline done done, sort of practiced beforehand too, so I guess I'm in a really good place to head out now and enjoy the nice weather that the rain has blessed us with.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the night, I know I will!

See you guys soon!

Perfume-holic

First and foremost, congratulations to our own Dato' Lee Chong Wei for winning the All England Badminton and it is rather unfortunate to not have a holiday today like when we won the Suzuki Cup back in 2010. Anyway, moving on!

Presentation for internship is at 930am tomorrow and I really wish that it would come faster! And my 4k report, oh oh it's such a bummer to start but like they always say, the first step is always the hardest. So yes, now I'm trying to do a little bit first by searching all journals to back me up on my writings and take baby steps to finishing the 4k words! Oh, and did I say I'm going to go swimming tonight? Oh yes. Can't wait!

And if you're really curious about my perfume title is that I'm itching for something to smell nice right now! I miss going through bottles and bottles of perfumes cause they're soooo expensive now, I spend my cash mostly on Fragrance Mists lately and to be honest, its no way compare to a good solid perfume, sampler :P You know those tiny little vials of perfume? No?

Yes, these. (:
I mean call me cheap or what but I really love this things cause I find the perfumes inside are the most concentrated and it can't beat those in the spray bottles. I haven't finish my vials yet but I will one day, so now I'm on the hunt to look out for some new vials. Suggestions anybody? I'm searching through Etsy at the moment :D

Somedays I'm a super bitch.

Did this self evaluation quiz again, some are true some are not. But I'm just gonna post this up to keep it as an easier reference for the near future.

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

And I guess sometimes time do change a person cause what I had on a few years ago was different.

Some of them are quite true especially the last part because I do very often disappear into my own private land to think about what's happening and so forth. So the next time I'm missing or alone in some godforsaken park, I'm okay. Don't worry. Just there with my thoughts and my walkman ;)

the rat is as big as a cat

hello. its 3.20am right now and I've just created another blog, yes another one again for my misc rantings cause .. I can.

purepoison has left and is being replaced by yesteryears-writing because you see, what I write today will be considered as yesteryears-writing one year from now, see. Ingenious am i? So yes I think yesteryears-writings will be a very suitable name for this blog!

Yes. This is probably my sixth or seventh blog since the others went private, for my own viewing pleasure.

So I'm not going to say the same thing over and over again, oh you know I'm gonna maintain this blog and let you know outrageous updates about my life cause I'm not gonna do that because I can't guarantee how long this blog will last, let alone be updated regularly so just enjoy it while it can shall we?

And I'm out of words to write.

This is not like those personal blogs about my life(there's facebook and twitter for it) but it's probably going to be like misc. writings or things that I need to get out of my head, cause honestly I love writing. I just haven't been doing it often enough unfortunately.

So yes. Introduction has been made and I think I'm having a writers block now so I shall sign off with a little line that I like from Hurts - Silver Lining.

when the world surrounds you, i'll make it go away

paint the sky will silver lining.